Handling Sexual-Development Queries of a Pre-teen

A few months ago, we were de-stressing in my 8 year old’s room, quietly concentrating to stay within the lines while colouring her sketch book, when she suddenly asked me, “where do the kids come from in a mommy’s tummy?” It was as if a bolt hit me. “She is too young to understand”, I thought. Calmly, I asked her if it was something that she saw on TV or elsewhere. She told me that she has been wondering about it, ever since I had told her that she came out of mine. I smiled.

h2As a parent, I was naturally concerned to say the least. Children at this age, I perceive, are pretty naïve to understand the severity of words/ actions and how they are presented. It is definitely a concern, considering the kind of exposure that the young minds are privy to. Therefore, our role as parents during these formative years is extremely important. Trust your skills as a parent. Do not, in any way, view their queries from the society’s lens. To develop thinking individuals, we need to show great open-mindedness as well.

h3 5.39.47 AMWhen children come up with such ‘age inappropriate’ questions, pairing them with shame, embarrassment or even guilt is never a great idea. We naturally run the risk of scarring not only the child, but also any future relationships. The child would always associate any such sense of negativity or shock that you exhibit, with an idea of ‘non-share-worthy’ topics with the parents. And believe me, that’s not a spot that you want to be at this early in their lives. Never, actually.

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