Happiness Is An Inside Job

How many times do we come across someone who does not know how to take a compliment gracefully? Have you ever encountered someone you have complimented and they have shyly declined your compliment saying, its probably nothing! What makes people think they don’t deserve being treated special? Or is it just a socially acceptable norm to gracefully decline something that should be welcomed?

I somehow feel that when one is graced with a genuine compliment, one should accept it graciously because possibly they deserve it. Possibly it is in them to shine and they are unaware of the fact. Possibly the other person has noticed something that they never considered an advantage. Quite possibly they are suffering from low self-esteem and are so used to being depreciated that they stop looking at themselves as novel. In that case, the compliment can actually turn into a gateway to self-discovery.

You should never be surprised when someone treats you with respect, you should expect it.

― Sarah Dessen


I have learnt  (over the years) that no matter what, happiness comes from within. Everyday brings something distinct for us to look out for; it is for us to find what bring happiness to us. The more we look for it, the more we realize that it was always there, inside of us, in the first place. Creating love for self is the best labor one can put themselves in. I believe that a person who does not find love within is completely incapable of giving love to anyone else, as well. They may go about counseling the whole world about the importance of ‘individuality’ but they may still be someone who is insecure themself. How can you trust someone who does not love himself or herself in the first place?

I do not trust people who don’t love themselves and yet tell me, ‘I love you.’ There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.

― Maya Angelou

So, go on! Love yourself. Love everything that makes ‘you’ complete. Love yourself in entirety. Smile for the world to know that you are shining from within. And in case someone walks up to you and tells you that you have a beautiful smile be sure to tell them its because you deserve it!


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Linking this to Ultimate Blog Challenge– January 2014

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26 thoughts on “Happiness Is An Inside Job

  1. Kajal, people could also react to compliments by brushing them off because they are humble and genuinely believe that they really don’t deserve the compliment that you are giving them, right?? For eg, if you compliment someone on a good blog post, but they genuinely believe that it was just about an Ok post, they might reply stating that it is no big deal. In such cases, they probably are being honest, and it has nothing to do with whether they have self esteem issues, love themselves or anything like that.

  2. I know I have done this in the past. For the longest time it was hard to believe that i could do anything well. The bad stuff was easier to believe. But now I know I am OK, and I do just fine and many times that is why answering my comments on my blog really does make my day. Everyone is so supportive and makes me feel that yes, I can write, and yes my art is worthy. I am worthwhile. Thank you so much for this post and always being so kind, supportive, and having the wonderful ability of building me up instead of tearing me down. It is so sad when people do that. My mom always taught me if I didn’ t have something nice to say that I was to kindly thank them and say nothing at all. I have found there is always something nice to say usually. I so appreciate you…and this post really hit home with me…and i thank you so much for it!

    1. Wow, Kathy…you made my day, today. I agree sometimes we do underestimate ourselves and compared to others there could be a whole lot of things that we may be lacking but why even think about that. We must celebrate whatever ‘we’ have…because that’s what makes us special…right ?! 🙂

  3. You know Kajal, I was thinking of my husband, who can never take a compliment in the truest sense, when I give him one. It takes a blunt look from me to make him realize that its a compliment and then he gives a sheepish smile. He is like that…I just cannot change him. But with him, I know what he feels inside. With others it becomes difficult to understand what goes on in their minds, when they refuse to acknowledge the compliment.

    There are also those people who cannot gracefully accept a gift or help from someone else. They feel they have gone down in physical caliber if they take help from others or gone down on a financial status if they accept a gift from others. All sorts of people and all sorts of characters !!

    Interesting post though…which made me comment so much 🙂

    1. Thanks Uma…I am glad the post made you come up with your won version. I agree some people do it out of politeness, but lets face it most people do it because they are insecure about themselves. I used to feel insecure and it took me some time to overcome my fears and be in a happy place.

      hence this post! 🙂

  4. Rightly said Kajal!! Love yourself! That’s so important and people tend to forget this…
    That saying by Mary Angelou is so apt! She is a very wise lady.. 🙂

    beautiful post Kajal. Just like you 🙂

  5. Agree with you completely! While it is ok to be modest about our accomplishments, it is important to acknowledge the compliments we receive. Not accepting a compliment graciously reflects bad not only on the receiver but also on the giver. As a receiver it signifies that we don’t value or recognise our talents or achievements and/or are suffering from low self esteem or are self-conscious. When we deny or reject the compliment, for the giver, it implies that his/her opinion was incorrect or that we don’t value his/her remark or we are doubting his/her sincerity.
    So we must go on and give compliments and spread some cheer and smiles around and also accept that compliment graciously. 🙂

  6. It really is tough to accept a compliment.. A simple ‘thank you’ would do but most of us would rather brush it off. It is in search of this happiness inside that I’m doing the 100 happy days thing. Consciously trying to be happy does work for me.

  7. I’ve always had trouble with this concept of “loving” oneself. What does it mean? I prefer to say I am happy and contented with the way I am and my life. But I do agree, one must accept a compliment gracefully. Not doing that robs the person who gives it the joy of giving it. Very nicely written.

    1. Its really nice Suzy that you have reached bliss and have accepted yourself just as you are but still there are so many who are still on their pursuit to search themselves and make peace with their insecurities.

      However, I agree how a genuine compliment if not acknowledged robs the joy for the giver and the receiver as well. 🙂

  8. I totally agree with you on this … a lamp has to light itself first to spread the light around..as simple as that… and loving and believing in yourself is the first step to getting illuminated…love the quotes you have put..recently I also read something in similar lines by Mandela…

  9. I am taking that Sarah Dessen quote to heart. Yes, I am very uncomfortable with accepting compliments. It embarrasses me, and the ‘thank you’ comes out of a face red as a tomato. But I enjoy them. Who doesn’t? And that ‘shining from within’ shows. It surely does. 🙂

    1. Thanks Sakhsi! I guess you should be used to compliments….you seem to be such a perfectly balanced person. Appreciate that you visiting my blog and found a takeaway from here.

      Thanks! 🙂

  10. Ah! Such posts will make me expect more respect than I truly deserve. Some compliments are truly embarrassing for they are given in the most uncomfortable state, an occasions not fit for it. Some, well, are good to receive 🙂

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