She sat there with that faraway look, which seemed like a recurrence for a few days now. It was one of those days when she felt despair. Every time she was in the operation theater she would feel personally responsible for the life that lay on the table.
Today she was to save an ailing heart patient through a surgery. Her vigorous attempts were failing her. The man’s heartbeat was sinking. The nurses, the attendants, the doctors, all made sure that no stone remain unturned to pull the patient out from clutches of death. Desperately, against the raring machines, they worked, stirred, shifted to bring each attention to the dying man.
‘I can’t let this happen’ she muttered under her breath. ‘You’re not going’, she declared, more to herself than the patient while she pushed the paddles against the man’s chest. She was insistent that she would not let a third patient die on her table. She was a good doctor, she knew. She kept fighting for herself… for the patient. One thing she didn’t know that they were being watched.
At the other end of the room he stood waiting for the life of the patient to end. It was his responsibility to appear to those who are close to death and guide them to the next life. He was called an angel of death but he knew it was his task to make sure they lead to their final destination. He felt a wave of disquiet when she looked right at him from across the table where the ill-fated man laid waiting for his death.
‘Can she see me?’ he thought. Those eyes – determined, confused and scared…. ‘You’re not going’, she repeated. Once again she looked right across and nodded in negative, her eyes constantly focused on his while she kept working with the paddles. ‘Can she see me?’ he was scared. But he knew he had to complete his task and he did.
Her anguish gave way to quiet tears as she sat helpless on the stairs. She cried for forgiveness, repeatedly seeking reparation. She wished she did not have to feel this all the time. Her personal affiliation to her patients was getting frantic now and that was killing her within. He looked at her with compassion. Oh! those eyes- moist, defeated and lost. His benevolence made him extend his hand towards her and he reached out to wipe her tears.
‘Who’s that?’ she looked around, confused.
‘Are you around?’ She closed her eyes. ‘God! I can feel you…show me the light.’
P.S. This post is inspired from a scene from one of my favorite movies ‘City Of Angels’
This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.