Letters Unsent is an idea conceived by Santulan and we at Write Tribe are writing some letters to the selected few in our lives.
I have always had a fascination for the written word and I believe we express better if we write. The pre Internet phase has seen me write lengthy letters -as long as 12 to 18 pages- to my loved ones. I have still stored some of the prized letters people have handwritten to me in so many years. I value them more than the e-mails that I get now. Well, that’s another story.
Here I write a letter to one of my closest cousins (yes I have more than one close cousins) as a part of the ‘Letters Unsent’ series. She is the one who knows me like no one else in my family/relatives
I was too young to remember how I felt when you were born, however I still had a sense that I had become a big sister now…to you. It was only after 3 more years that I actually felt the moment sink in. That day, your picture came in the post and mom showed it to me when I came back from school. I remember looking at that picture and saying this to myself over and over again, ‘I have a sister! I have a sister! I have a sister!’ I went around the neighborhood showing that picture to everyone boastfully claiming that I was an ‘elder’ sister to you. That’s a feeling I carry in my heart, forever.
As we grew is separate homes, never once did I feel I was away from you. We did not have telephones to connect us but our yearly meets were something I always looked forward to. I guess we always knew we were connected closely, because I never felt you were living miles away from me.
I don’t particularly remember how we were together as kids with each other, but I remember how I used to love watching you get dressed for school early in he morning. You used to try out various hair-dos till you were satisfied with the ‘look of the day’. Sometimes, even while T would keep shouting her lungs out to tell you that the school bus is waiting, I would still find you in front of the mirror admiring yourself or maybe trying out a new way to adjust your uniform. I remember you telling me how having a different look each day would make you anticipate something new for the day.
I remember how as teenagers we used to sit together on the stairs till the wee hours of the night sharing our experiences, our dreams, our hopes. We would sometimes hold hands to show solidarity, sometimes cry and hug each other, sometimes agree to disagree and sometimes just sit there- blank and smiling.
I remember how I felt so special when you showed me the first poem you had written, when you were still in school. You were so imaginative and expressive. And remember, how you used to draw some figures by the side of your poem to try and express how you exactly felt. It was great! Why did you stop writing?
I remember how you passed me off as a fresher in your college when I had already passed my college a year ago. I had roamed about in your college for half of the day (not once but many times) and ate those samosas sitting on the steps of the amphitheater. And then how you saved me from ragging by way of your jugaad. What was the name of the jugaad anyway? Ha Ha!
I remember we had our first ‘blind date’ together and how disappointed you were. At that time, you cried and after a few days we both laughed like crazies at the whole incident. We were so naïve. And by the way do you remember how we turned a telephone bill from a modest hundreds to whooping thousands in one month of our Internet usage? At that time I was so ashamed to confess to your parents that I was to be blamed. They were gracious enough to not have asked me any questions, then. Today, it goes as one of the things I really admire about them. They just loved! No wonder you carry their legacy so beautifully. Have I ever told you that you’re a little furry ball of love?
Now this obviously reminds me of all the ‘naughtiness’ we have been ever since but I don’t want things to go embarrassing for both of us. No, I am not embarrassed for all of it but we both know and let’s just leave it at that!
We grew up in different parts of the country but we shared an invisible bond that has been tried and tested with time. We got married and went our ways but every time we would meet we would start from where we left off last. I really love the way we can talk about just anything and everything without any inhibitions, even today. I miss you often and when I do, all I have to do is call you and when I hear the chirpy little voice at the other end, I know you miss me too.
There is so much more that I can write in this letter to let you know how special you are for me, but then you already know, don’t you?
Now, I am looking forward to seeing you soon in November.
Image courtesy: Google