When I Die!

Its usually very dificult to get me down. I am perpetually happy and love to smile. I personally feel that smiling through everything is my remedy to all that can gloom my mood. Smile and *poof!* the worries just vanish. However, there are times when everything around you just kind of pulls you down. The only way out of such a day is to turn that damn curve upside down!
The other day little Miss 6 was watching a movie where the father of a boy dies and becomes a spirit guiding his son in the form of a car (A trashy Hindi movie called –Tarzan: The Wonder Car!) Anyway, she asked me a whole lot of questions about life and death. I did my best to explain to her all that I could in the amount of words she could digest. There were questions, the answers to which were as disturbing to her as they were to me. Yes, in retrospect, I hate to believe that I may have scarred her little mind in some way, still I feel, I did my best to cater to the topic sensitively. Ever since that day’s discussion, she has tried to touch on this topic quite a few times and I have had to explain it all over again, only to find myself uncomfortable at some level.
I am still not sure as to how far the concept of death has gone down with her but she surely understands now that all people die.  A few days back she began ‘if you die…’ (Okay, laugh all you can, but that’s her way of bringing examples to life- by making me die-Ha!). So if I did, she asks me,  ‘who will take care of me’? Now that’s a scary thought.
Even though I have resolved NEVER to die, the thought is scray indeed. So what will happen if I die? Here is what my plan is. I will turn into a spirit….whooooo!
When it would be time for her to get up for school in the morning, I will mysteriously pick her up in my arms and take her to brush her teeth and get her into her uniform after a bath. The ironed clothes will string their way like ducks in a row on her bed. Morning milk routine will continue with her gulping it down involuntarily. Her bags packed and her tiffin kept with her favorite foods. When she boards her school bus, I will wave her goodbye for the day , of course, she won’t be able to see me. When she comes back home in the evening, I will make sure her homework is completed quickly and she is tucked safely in her bed after a sumptous meal. Ah! well, this is all that I already do so what’s the fun in dying for this…. let me hop on to the next part, then. *rubs hands together and gives an evil grin *
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When Daddy brings a woman home to be ‘the new mommy’ I will chase her away with unusual tricks and a fork dug into her palm. When he, as much as even, eyes another woman I will flick his ear till he screams ‘Ouch!’ and embarrases himself in front of the woman. When he is coming back from the office and listening to his favorite channel on the tuner, I will keep switching the channels to my favorite one. When he gets back home and lounges in front of the TV to watch Manchester United beat up Newport County, I would magically make the underdogs win. And then hide the remote so he is forced to watch them loose. *evil laugh* When he ‘encourages’ the little girl at home to go play football in the rain and not waste her time playing barbie, I will make her football spikes burn. When she is asked to eat something that is made lousy, I will blow it off the spoon every time and replace it with something she loves. When she is looking for her school socks and he can’t find it for her, I will make them emerge from his pocket and enjoy watching her give him ‘those’ looks. At least, once I’d like to see him squirm when she says, ‘mama knows best!’ Ha!!

At work, I will shuffle the papers at the desks of various people who have stooped to levels lower than mucky grounds for their ‘career’. The people who are real smooth with their words, I will make them stutter when they are explaining things to their boss. I will switch calenders and see them get late for their appointments. All those people who called themself my friend but never really cared….okay, I don’t know what to make of them. I have already forgiven them but I guess I will turn them into a pigeon and have people call them a menace all their life. I am a spirit, people, I am supposed to be spooky and wierd.
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Okay, I guess that’s all for now. I wanted to really mention a lot of other people I could trouble-people who have troubled me in the past. But then, no point in increasing the length of this post when nothing that I have already mentioned here, I am ever going to do-even as a spirit.

Actually, I am not sure, what’s going to happen when I die but for now, every time little Miss 6 asks me ‘who’ll take care of me when you die?’ I will still settle for ‘I am NEVER gonna die on you!

This post is a part of the Ultimate Blog Challenge, July 2013


34 thoughts on “When I Die!

  1. LOL, this is funny. I had to deal with the question of death with my daughter when my Dad died when she was 3. She was very close to him and it took her a long time as it did me. I love your humor in the face of death. It sounds like the kind of shenanigans I would like to get up to after my death. LOLKathyhttp://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

  2. This is cute and at the same time very endearing… I just love these conversations that you share here… makes my day after a long tiring day at work!

  3. Hi Kajal, I guess death as a topic intrigues kids equally as it interests adults. My son keeps asking questions about death because of the photographs of his great-grandparents hung with floral garland. And the sort of questions he asks are sometimes pretty uncomfortable considering that we are living in a joint family and most of the questions are directed to his grandparents (they think I am teaching him all this.).

  4. That's right Swati. Death does intrigue her and she often asks about people she does not see around us. By GOd's grace we have elders in our house and she never really picked up the death topic from there but its funny how she asks me ' If Papa's grandfather is so old, when will he die?' Imagine if she asks me this question in front of my in-laws!! Ha!! I'd be in so much trouble 😀

  5. So funny. Love the idea of you being a naughty spirit coming back to play tricks and get revenge on mean people from when you were alive. I'd love to be a spirit like that.But seriously, it is hard to talk to children about death as it is a tough topic for adults, too. And the idea of abandoning them through death is so awful, I can't even think about it. And yet it happens sometimes. All we can do is enjoy each day we get and be grateful.

  6. Sure Hema, if you're trapped for a while on the way up there, you might wanna have some fun…just like one wants to dance shamelessly in the shower cuz no is watching 😛

  7. Isn't it gonna be fun if we can turn up like that…funny and cute after we die ? :POf course, with kids there is always this insecurity of what they would do in the absence of their parents, but ya, as parents the best you can do is leave them with some great memories that they keep feeling that you never left.

  8. This makes me realise how all conversations around death need not be sad or depressed. Such a spunky way of dealing with the subject. Surprisingly I am reading a book called "book thief" which is actually written from the point of vie of death 😀 Richa

  9. Kajal…that was sooooo COOL!!!!!..I never for once imagined I would aspire for something post death but I wanna be the fun ghost tooooo 😀

  10. I love the way you've taken this post, Kajal. Such a light-hearted and positive twist to something that one can get gloomy about! Death is always a more difficult topic for adults than it is for children in my experience.

  11. I was really low the morning when I was thinking about this while going to work, but then it just struck me 'why must I be so concerned about what's gonna happen…why should I not make the best of what I already have-NOW!' Hence this post 🙂

  12. yes you are never going to die ok…. I really wierd.. this was supposed to be a humourous post rite??? hell there are tears in my eyes 😦 … keep up your promise to your gal…ok for the humor sake.. you are really going to be an evil spirit I say 😛

  13. Thanks for appreciating the look of the blog. Even I think its a bit neat and clean. Ya, it's not as colorful as it was before, but I think I like this better now…nothing complex going on, anymore!

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