Yesterday when I had a small tiff with Little Miss 5 and she argued about how she would not want me around for a while and how that will help her get her frame of mind back. I was surprised how she was expressing exactly how I would if I were upset with someone.
For a while I let her be and since we were chatting at bedtime she slept after informing me that she does not want to discuss the subject at hand, further. As much as her actions were endearing (simply because she reflected my behavior in her own childlike way) it kept me thinking for a long time as to why would someone want to avoid a subject they don’t seem to be winning at?
It all starts very early on in our lives when we are taught the importance of winning. And I emphasize on the word ‘taught’ because we don’t learn ourselves, we are trained constantly to be best at what we do. Not that this post delves into that subject, necessarily. It simply caters to the behavior we become so used to as we grow since our minds get tracked on that all the time. The same was reflected in my little girl’s behavior as well. Long after she was asleep, it got me thinking as to what is it that I can make up to her with? Not that I wanted to give in to her tantrum, I wanted to make sure, she does not resolve to this tactic every time there is something that I want to discuss with her. I was sad with the way I had handled the situation and it also made me unhappy to make her distance me from her.
“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”
Dalai Lama XIV
I remembered this quote and decided to act. I resolved to fix the situation and so the next morning, I made an attempt to get her ready earlier than usual and left for her bus stop 5 minutes early. She was quiet all morning, like always, but somehow I could feel it’s because of the scene we had last night. Okay, here is a safe place to tell you that the word ‘Sorry’ takes a lot of effort to pop out of my mouth but nevertheless, I began my sentence with it.
‘It’s okay mama….am sorry, I made you sad too’
‘ Would you like to talk about it now?’
‘About how I did not listen to you and that made you angry’
‘ No mama, I was not listening to you. I am sorry’
‘I am so glad you remember what happened. Hope we always stay friends and never fight like that’
‘ I will never fight with you EVER again’
Made me smile.
Of course, that’s never going to happen. We will always have our differences at some other point of time in our lives and we will deal with it then, too. But for now, I decided to play the right note. Hope I continue.
This post is a part of the Ultimate Blog Challenge, July 2013