Not many people resolve at the beginning of every year.Well, I never used to. But I know some, who not only resolve but also fulfill it. I wanted to try that too and in January 2012, I resolved to make peace with myself, to be healthier in mind and body. At that time, I wrote a note to myself, which I shared on my FB notes for my friends. I transported the same to my blog when I started it on March 15, 2013. You can find it here: Finding my Zen
It took me a whole year to practice the steps and make sure that I live a more fulfilled life. Before I set those points forth for myself, I was looking for happiness on the outside without connecting it with the voices inside of me. So I decided, since it’s only I who can bridge the gap, let me walk step by step.
With a lot of courage I stepped forward and erased my mistakes, apologized to people I had hurt along the way and forgave so many others who hurt me. I got back on my health and adjusted my sleeping pattern, which was erratic for almost 2 years! I smiled, every day, forced myself to if I had to. I took a lot of junk out of my life, out of my mind that helped me un-clutter so I could think clearly and decide reasonably. Eventually, I listened to my heart, which helped me release my biggest demon- Fear. For so many years I feared that no one would hear me out, no one would understand me, no one would love me and that I would be alone all my life. I smashed all those fears and I discovered to love myself again!
Zen is a Japanese word for the school of Mahayana Buddhism that developed in China during the 6th century and is derived from the Sanskrit word dhayana or total absorption/meditation. The purpose of Zen is to find your center, not just the center of your body but the center of your mind and eventually you would attain enlightenment.
I knew I had to get there and then blogging happened. I am on the route to self-discovery and along the way finding my Zen. The most fundamental teaching of the Zen philosophy is that we are already originally enlightened. The meditation (read focus) helps us to achieve it. I know that it may take my whole life to discover it, even though I feel I am a step closer to finding it. I know its there somewhere inside of me and I would, some day.
Image courtesy : Google