So many times we come across people who instantly get so gripped by our presence around them that they become inquisitive and/or resent our existence. Obviously, its not always that people can mask their emotions, especially the ones who are either extremely cynical or clinical. And that’s when we get that feeling which forms the title of this post.
For these kinds of people, we are usually a target of their microscopic analysis and our life becomes their scoring board against their own life. They measure our successes/failures with theirs and often almost let out a squeal of joy for every score above ours. Also, there are those who really think that its their right to ask us questions that come in their mind because they are possibly ‘inventing’ our biography and want to know every detail of our life.
Like this one time, at work, I was a part of a team comprising of people from another department for a project. The project was to run for a week and I actually did not expect myself to open up to everyone on the team, however, as common courtesy goes, I went about chatting with everyone I touched base with. This lady was particularly keen on knowing certain personal details about me, which I was extremely uncomfortable with. Till date, I am puzzled as to why she wanted to know my ‘religion’. She goes, ‘ you have a tattoo which is Arabic, you’re wearing a Sikh kada and your last name is Gujrati-are you a Hindu, Muslim or a Sikh?’ Rude shock! I never expected anyone to analyze me on the basis of my faith!!
I could instantly feel blood rush to my cheeks and ears and I embarrassingly looked around for other people in the room for their reaction- not for my sake, but for hers (I’m sure none thought her question was an intelligent one!). ‘What business is that of hers?’ I thought. As much as I wanted to give her a right hook, I simply smiled. That was then and henceforth I always keep my sensors on for such untoward volleys of questions from strangers who randomly barge into you life like it’s their business.
Here are some of the other questions, I feel absolutely annoying, coming from random ghouls who are nobody in your life. I’ve tried to map the answers I give in my mind while I conveniently oblige them with a smile. Some I have been asked and some I hear being asked to my friends. Feel free to add any of yours or use the responses herein:
Q – Is this your baby?
A – No, I just abducted her from the mall and now I’m shipping her off to Iran.
Q – Hey! Are you pregnant?
A – No that’s just a blob of an alien under my shirt.
Q – So, when are you getting married?
A – As soon as your husband divorces you.
Q – You’ve been married for so long, why don’t you have any children?
A – Because I hate kids and if you don’t leave my face, I’m going to eat up yours!
Q – Have you lost weight?
A – Yes, I swam last evening and the weight just washed away.
Q – Have you gained weight?
A – Yes, your bloated questions just entered my body.
Q – Why can’t you lose weight?
A – Because I’d like to jump on you and break your bones for being so insensitive.
Q – Hey, do you know something?
A – That your husband is sleeping with the maid, yes I know!
Q – Why don’t your in-laws stay with you?
A- Because they’re as afraid of your nonsensical questions as I am.
Q – You look tired … (not so much of a question)
A – Yes, my husband and I had a great night but it was sooo worth it!
Q – Can I ask you a question?
A – NOOOOO!