Tell them to shut up!

So many times we come across people who instantly get so gripped by our presence around them that they become inquisitive and/or resent our existence. Obviously, its not always that people can mask their emotions, especially the ones who are either extremely cynical or clinical. And that’s when we get that feeling which forms the title of this post.
For these kinds of people, we are usually a target of their microscopic analysis and our life becomes their scoring board against their own life. They measure our successes/failures with theirs and often almost let out a squeal of joy for every score above ours. Also, there are those who really think that its their right to ask us questions that come in their mind because they are possibly ‘inventing’ our biography and want to know every detail of our life.
Like this one time, at work, I was a part of a team comprising of people from another department for a project. The project was to run for a week and I actually did not expect myself to open up to everyone on the team, however, as common courtesy goes, I went about chatting with everyone I touched base with. This lady was particularly keen on knowing certain personal details about me, which I was extremely uncomfortable with. Till date, I am puzzled as to why she wanted to know my ‘religion’. She goes, ‘ you have a tattoo which is Arabic, you’re wearing a Sikh kada and your last name is Gujrati-are you a Hindu, Muslim or a Sikh?’ Rude shock! I never expected anyone to analyze me on the basis of my faith!!
I could instantly feel blood rush to my cheeks and ears and I embarrassingly looked around for other people in the room for their reaction- not for my sake, but for hers (I’m sure none thought her question was an intelligent one!). ‘What business is that of hers?’ I thought. As much as I wanted to give her a right hook, I simply smiled. That was then and henceforth I always keep my sensors on for such untoward volleys of questions from strangers who randomly barge into you life like it’s their business.
Here are some of the other questions, I feel absolutely annoying, coming from random ghouls who are nobody in your life. I’ve tried to map the answers I give in my mind while I conveniently oblige them with a smile. Some I have been asked and some I hear being asked to my friends. Feel free to add any of yours or use the responses herein:
Q – Is this your baby?
A – No, I just abducted her from the mall and now I’m shipping her off to Iran.
Q – Hey! Are you pregnant?
A – No that’s just a blob of an alien under my shirt.
Q – So, when are you getting married?
A – As soon as your husband divorces you.
Q – You’ve been married for so long, why don’t you have any children?
A –  Because I hate kids and if you don’t leave my face, I’m going to eat up yours!
Q – Have you lost weight?
A – Yes, I swam last evening and the weight just washed away.
Q – Have you gained weight?
A – Yes, your bloated questions just entered my body.
Q – Why can’t you lose weight?
A – Because I’d like to jump on you and break your bones for being so insensitive.
Q – Hey, do you know something?
A – That your husband is sleeping with the maid, yes I know!
Q – Why don’t your in-laws stay with you?
A- Because they’re as afraid of your nonsensical questions as I am.
Q – You look tired … (not so much of a question)
A – Yes, my husband and I had a great night but it was sooo worth it!
Q – Can I ask you a question?
Would anyone just go and tell them to shut up?

Image courtesy : Google


40 thoughts on “Tell them to shut up!

  1. so not all smiles are genuine .. I am coming to this post after reading about the post on smile 😀 and here I had my tongue and teeth acting rebellious …Yes its true that people do not realize just in the haste of striking a conversation, many a times, they end up asking questions which are utterly and bitterly ridiculous -in hindi,this question is – Aur bhai khoob note chaap rahe ho ?? (bro,minting money ? )and I feel like yelling at this question like Sunney Deol does in 'Gadar'.I am a doodler and somehow manage bread (butterless 🙂 ) after working for 12 hrs and 30 days … and the person asking knows that I am a doodler who are ideally parasites on family … still he would ask if I were minting money !! But then .. courtesy .. just a smile ( as if I've actually become Ambani doodling all these years ) hehehe.!!yet another Suppa Like post !! 🙂

  2. Thanks for the like :)Of course, these people can be utter pests with the bombardment of irrelevant questions.Another one which pisses me off is "Aur aaj kal bahut busy rehne lage ho, phone tak nahin karte?"Answer : "Haan! tumse bachne ka aur koi bahana nahin lagta!! "

  3. That was a side splitting FAQ session. I get miffed when people ask how much I make or how old I am…or when I am going to pop out another one – since single children are self centered, spoiled creatures that don't learn sharing or caring! :(I am going to NO 7 one of these days 😉

  4. Very surprised to hear that Suzy, frankly! Even though I don't snap at people for asking me such 'pouncy' questions, I still feel ' what is their business knowing who I am and what I do, clearly when there has been no connect!!' It is absolutely evident when people genuinely want to know you and there are others who just get you into an uncomfortable spot with questions that are way off the conversation one is already involved in. That's just weird business.

  5. My answers are similar kaajal. Some que seem plain yet idioticI loved this Q – So, when are you getting married?A – As soon as your husband divorces you.Haha shud advise one of my friends who deals with daily demons who ask abt her marriage

  6. I can relate to what you have written, some people are so inquisitive, they expect you to tell everything, its very irritating, i have encountered persons like this, who were worried for my marriage, worried i did not have kids, worried i was putting on weight, when is the last emi for my house, its endless – now i have learnt not to be bothered, but just get busy with what i have to.. thanks for sharing !

  7. Hilarious…kajal I had a blasting laughter on your weird answers. A few instances fr my side…my sis was in a mall with her son an old friend just stopped and asked hey this is your son , she said yes and a counter Q Are you married? yah I m my husband gifted me this son as a wedding gift. And just yesterday a colleague remarked how come you are dark being a himachali ? A: I was born at night when there was no light in the room and above all a negress kissed me at that moment.

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