With the first breath of our existence we are encouraged to be our best.
‘Oh the baby did not cry!’
‘Oh the baby weighed only 1.7 pounds!’
‘Oh the baby is a tad bit darker than his parents’.
Give it a rest people; the baby just breathed her first!
In fact, our developmental milestones are compared with other babies – crawling, standing, walking, sleeping and the list goes on. Inadvertently, parents tend to make comparisons and then there are those ‘wise aunties’ who do not leave any opportunity to console in case the baby is a bit ‘late’ on her milestones.
Once you hit kindergarten, the parents and teachers are advised to look for signs in case the toddler is a gifted one. The kid’s quirks are measured efficiently and discussed in mom forums.
‘Mine does not eat too well.’
‘Mine is a nag in the evenings.’
‘Mine is aloof and does not mingle’.
And then there are tips provided by multiple books/websites under the segment – ‘How to manage your child’s tantrums’.
And this goes on from here well into her teens till the time she is an adult.
Not that I contest parents encouraging their child to be the best. Its the perception of ‘best’ that seems to have been misconstrued.
The point is when the child grows up, she wants outstanding from herself too. Because that’s what she knows she is supposed to aspire for. Nothing else is worth the efforts she puts into her way of life. Failures not only bring her down she becomes a target of her own skepticism. She gets into the trap of insecurity and her results start diminishing. That’s where exactly the need to be outstanding impairs us. It really does not help us grow but brings us further down in self-doubt.
Perfection is Perfect!!
Today when there are avenues far and wide to excel in areas of one’s interest, there are a gazillion people who are stuck in the rut, toiling their minds in exhausting sprints with each other. We are judged and compartmentalized in grades right from kindergarten till the end of our respective careers. Yes, that brings in meritocracy and hopefully that’s a great deal. It obviously believes in appreciating the one who’s a higher notch. However, there are some who still are seeking to be there. Their efforts go unnoticed and they land up being crushed. No wonder to attain something we need to go through some really uncomfortable terrain. However, that should not slow us or pull us down. It can be terrible that in the aspiration to be great we land up being a defeated pile of aversion.
Of course, I don’t have all the answers here myself, however, the truth is, we all want greatness. We all aspire. The catch is ‘don’t fall’. Don’t be who you want to be for others- do it for yourself!
We are usually better off than we think we are! Your do-it-yourself list may look something like this:
· Value yourself just as you would want others to value you.
· Nothing and no one decides how far you will go in life, but yourself.
· Don’t let your faith in your abilities falter and take a step after another.
· Trust yourself and keep moving.
· Don’t be defeated by uncomfortable situations.
· Be the finest you can be. Be OUTSTANDING!
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